Our lives will never be the same again
by VivalaTIVA16
Summary: Tony watched a movie with his girlfriend when there's been a knock on the door. He slowly unlocked them and opened them. And there stood the person who would be least expected to be here in the whole world. Takes place around half a year after Zoe Keates' first appearance in the show. TIVA.
1. Chapter 1

**OUR LIVES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN**

 **Chapter 1**

It was a boring, rainy Thursday afternoon and all Very Special agent Anthony DiNozzo could think about was when Gibbs will yell the magic words to his agents: "Go home". They had the last case wrapped up on Saturday and have been stuck with paperwork ever since. He was sick of listening to McGee's constant complains about his last fight with Delilah. Hell, he even didn't have the will to tease him anymore.

He was in a good place now. He finally got over Ziva's departure. Or did he? He quickly swept that thought away and reminded himself, that he had a girlfriend now. And he really liked her. She was not even close to Ziva but they had a good relationship. Ziva's staying in Israel still hurt him like hell but 'whatcha gonna do' ? She wanted to stay, so she stayed.

 _*Flashback*_

 _They were standing in the dark airport tarmac and there was a weird expression on her face which he couldn't quite place somewhere. He was trying to persuade her into going back to DC with him one last time. Unsuccessfully. And she started: »Tony,«, a little tear forming in her left eye. »You are so...«, and in that moment it had hit him for the very first time how many times in the past she had started her sentences like this and suddenly he started wondering why she never got to finish them._

 _But this time was different. He was finally ready to actually hear her words. And when he realized she had stopped again he made a relaxed comment, so she wouldn't feel so tense: »Handsome? Funny? What?« It made her smile a little, her eyes now completely filled with tears. »Loved,« she answered with voice full of something new, something he had never heard before. Love. He knew for a long time that her feelings for him had changed over the years together as partners. And ever since Michael Rivkin first came into the picture, he never doubted that he was in love with his crazy-Mossad-ninja-chick-partner. But this time was the first time that he was 100 percent sure that she feels the same way._

 _He thought it's now or never, so he just kissed her. At first he was afraid that she was gonna pull away but she responded with the same amount of passion. That was the moment that he realized that this was it. He will probably never see her again. After a few steps away from her, still facing her, he said that this was the hardest 180 of his life, but in the same time he was thinking how both of their lives will never be the same and it was an absolute truth..._

 _*End of flashback*_

A distant voice of McGee woke him up from his memories: »Tony? Tony are you alright? You have a really weird expression on your face...« DiNozzo mumbled something indistinguishable in response and almost jumped when McGee made a comment that Gibbs told him, DiNozzo and Bishop to go home. A look over his watch told him that it was 1700 hours so he immediately started packing. He took one last quick glance at Ziva's Star of David gold necklace in his desk drawer before heading to the familiar 'ping' of the elevator doors.

* * *

Approximately one hour later Tony laid comfortably on a medium-sized couch in his apartment, hugging Zoe Keates, his now called girlfriend, around her waist with one arm, a bowl of popcorn in the other. They were watching James Bond, one of his favorite parts actually- From Russia with Love. He and Zoe have been dating for about six months or so. They accidentally bumped into each other because of a case and old sparks were quickly back, since they were partners in crime and personally before in Philadelphia. They were having a good relationship and were spending almost all free time that an ATF agent and a NCIS agent can have and they cared about each other very much. But Tony knew he didn't love her, although he still didn't know what her feelings were towards him. He never wanted to bring the 'Where are we' kind of relationship talk up because she helped him a lot with getting over Ziva. He knew it was selfish to think like that, but today's thinking was just another of many examples that he was not anywhere near being okay with not seeing Ziva every day. He tried to make his mind to stop wondering about her every hour of his day, and it had been better since Zoe was here-the emphasis on 'better'...

At least McGee and Abby had stopped bugging him with 'You have to move on from her' and 'She's not coming back' kind of advices and mourns. He knew they meant well and was grateful to have such good friends, who didn't miss to notice when something was wrong, but he still felt very uncomfortable talking to them about his problems. He always tried to hide his emotions with that famous DiNozzo-ish grin on his face, but his eyes still showed a lot of pain.

As the pictures on a large plazma TV continued to change, he realized that he hasn't been paying much attention to the movie. It was his least favorite scene with the 'bad guy' and his white persian. God, he hated that cat. He liked cats, he even owed one for a few days but there was just something mean about this particular cat. Suddenly the movie was interrupted by a short, firm knock on the door. Tony's back and legs started to hurt a little so he offered to get them. If not for anything else, he would at least stretch his legs. Plus, he was kind of curious who that might be, since he and Zoe didn't really expect anyone in particular tonight.

He slowly unlocked the door and opened them. And there stood the person who would be least expected to be here in the whole world. Not to mention that he was here thinking about her being thousands of miles away not ten minutes ago. But there she was. Ziva David. She seemed more beautiful than ever, her hair longer since he had last seen her, and her olive-brown skin even darker. But still same old Ziva in her beige cargo pants and a simple long-sleeved pullover. She seemed very shy, which was unusual for her, almost as if she was afraid to come.

He wasn't even breathing and his heart's beating rhythm went far from normal. He was just starring with his mouth fully open from surprise while she did or said nothing. A thousand thoughts passed his mind in that very moment. Is she back for good? Does she want to be with him? Hell, he wasn't even sure what he wanted. But he couldn't say anything, he didn't know what to say anyway. Anthony DiNozzo, a man who never stopped talking and babbled about something practically all the time did not know what to say.

He had no idea how long they were standing like this, when a familiar voice yelled through the hallway: "Tony, who is it?". Since there was no answer, Zoe decided to go see the unexpected visitor herself. What she didn't expect was to find her boyfriend starring at a foreign girl who did or said nothing in return...

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 **A/N: Thank you for reading. Please hit the review button and let me know what do you think... :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: To the few people who followed and reviewed the first chapter: Thank you. This is my first fan fiction so I didn't really expect anyone yet and I must say I was positively surprised...:)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or any characters mentioned...**

 **Chapter 2**

 _He had no idea how long they were standing like this, when a familiar voice yelled through the hallway: "Tony, who is it? Since there was no answer, Zoe decided to go see the unexpected visitor herself. What she didn't expect was to find her boyfriend starring at a foreign girl who did or said nothing in return..._

Even Zoe froze for a moment. They looked totally lost in the moment and each other's eyes. Suddenly she noticed that the stranger's eyes and face went from expressing sadness and some kind of sorry to cold and absolutely emotionless. Since Tony had barely noticed her arrival, she said in a very firm and strict tone: "Hello. Can we help you?"

A few more seconds have passed until Ziva's shaky answer." No, I'm sorry, I should not have come. It is clearly not the best time for you," she said, still carefully observing Tony. She turned around, ready to leave, and looked back in Tony's eyes for the last time: "Goodbye, Tony." And she left again, only it was her this time to face the feeling of making 'the hardest 180 of her life'. And she felt her Mossad emotionless steel mask coming off very quickly, as her eyes were slowly filling with tears. She started walking even faster, because the last thing she wanted to do was to start crying in the middle of a foreign building, and gave herself a few Gibbs-slaps. That, a deep breath and a few quick blinks made the tears go away.

* * *

Zoe stepped to the doors and closed them, since Tony was still staring outside on the hallway of an average DC building. "Well, that was odd," she commented to stop the uncomfortable silence between them. She could see in his eyes that the women who just left meant something to him. She just wasn't sure what was the relationship between them. So she asked carefully: "Who is she and why did she visit?"

Tony didn't answer for another few seconds, he just slowly turned around to face her and when she was ready to make another comment he interrupted her: "That was my old partner. We haven't seen each other for a very long time..."

"Care to share? 'Cause, I mean you do look pretty shaken up," she said. All kind of questions were on her mind, thoughts running in her head with the speed of light. And she wanted to ask Tony to explain the situation but he just looked so fragile that she was afraid that she might scare him away.

Her thoughts were interrupted by his, suddenly strict, voice:" I have to go. I'm sorry...". He grabbed his jacket and on the way to the door he shouted: "I'll be back soon, I'll call you!", ran in the hallway and left her completely speechless, not knowing what to think.

He ran outside as quickly as he could but he was afraid that he had missed Ziva already and that she was gone for indefinite amount of time if not for good. He stopped by the door, thinking. He didn't know whether this visit was just coincidental and she has just passed by. Gibbs' voice in his head suddenly commented angrily: "There's no such thing as coincidence," and Gibbs was usually right so it probably wasn't coincidental. He didn't know if she moved back or if it was business related, or if she came back as his best friend or something more. The only thing he did know was that he would sure not let her go again this easy. It only occurred to him now that it would be good if he thought of what to say to her but then eagerly decided that he must catch her first.

So he looked around in the dark alley for cars just turning on or signs of any kind of movement at all. The street was particularly quiet this evening so he was sure he would have heard her if she was still here. He yelled:" Damn it!" as he banged his head hard on the wall of his building. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

What he didn't know was that she was not more than 20 meters away from him, observing his every move. She was hiding behind a large container opposite of the building. She knew coming back to America was a mistake. She had been thinking of returning to DC from the night Tony had left Israel a year and a half ago but only started considering it more seriously for the last few months. So one day she just booked a plane ticket and here she was approximately twenty hours later on the edge of starting to cry and completely embarrassed. She had been really changed now that all her ties with Mossad, NCIS or any other violent job were cut. She was a real estate agent now after a former neighbor and current friend offered her a job in her company back in Israel. She felt that she was slowly beginning to heal herself from all the death and pain she has seen in her life.

She suddenly became aware of the outside world again and noticed that Tony was heading somewhere. His face was showing deep disappointment, anger and sadness. When he disappeared from her sight a few seconds later, she started deciding what now. Since she didn't feel like spending a miserable night by herself in her hotel room, was going in a bar for a few drinks her only choice and option.

Just that 'a few drinks' turned to 'a few drinks too much' very soon. It was around midnight by now and she was getting tired and angry to the countless lonely men, who had tried to hit on her in the last few hours. They stopped doing so after some death threats made by her with some, at first look, harmless objects, but when she punched somebody on the nose after his unsuccessful attempt to caress her thigh, they realized that she was not joking and quickly left her alone, before somebody would get seriously hurt.

She left the bar at around two in the morning, only because it closed. She was really drunk by now and did the first thing that came into her mind: calling Tony, but apparently his phone was off. If that even was still his number.

In that moment a taxi drove by and she quickly stopped it, entered and without hesitation told the cab driver Tony's apartment's address…

* * *

Tony wandered around through the DC streets and alleys for about two hours. It really helped him clear his head.

But he still didn't have a slightest idea of what he's going to do. He couldn't decide whether to call Zoe or try to find Ziva. He would call Ziva but didn't know her phone number or where she went as a matter of fact.

It was starting to rain a little so he came to an end that it would be best for him to just go home. He knew he won't be able to sleep but a hot shower didn't sound bad.

The first thing he did after coming home was checking his phone, which he had left at his flat after going out in a hurry. Zoe had been long gone by now but she left him a voice mail in which she told him to call her when he's ready to talk about what happened or when he simply deals with it, which made him so angry that he simply threw his cell phone against the wall instead of calling her back. The stupid thing of course instantly shattered into multiple pieces. "Great. Just great," he muttered to himself sarcastically.

He was thinking of showering but he couldn't do it. Right now he was way to depressed to do even a simple task like that. Instead he just rolled onto his king-sized bed fully dressed. He thought he won't be able to drift away to sleep but he was so emotionally exhausted that he was sleeping almost right away.

* * *

Tony didn't wake up until loud voices and knocking on the doors outside his apartment. He sighed deeply, thinking it must have been McGee again, with one of his multiple love problems, who probably just wanted to talk to him when Tony didn't answer his cell phone. It certainly wouldn't be the first visit from him in the middle of the night.

He checked his wrist watch and sighed even louder this time. 02.34. What the hell did McGee want this time?

* * *

 **I apologize for any mistakes in grammar I made. English is not my first language. Reviews are welcome...  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. Seeing that you like the story reeealy makes me happy...**

 **Oh and by the way- I still don't own NCIS. Or the characters in the matter of fact...**

 **Chapter 3**

 _Tony didn't wake up until loud voices and knocking on the door outside his apartment. He sighed deeply, thinking it must have been McGee again with one of his multiple love problems again, probably just wanting to talk to him when Tony didn't answer his cell phone. It certainly wouldn't be the first visit from him in the middle of the night._

 _He checked his wrist watch and sighed even louder this time. 02.34. What the hell did McGee want this time?_

He slowly dragged himself from the bed, through the living room to the front door. He opened the door to a very unexpected sight and cursed quietly to himself : "Oh, shit!" There was no McGee outside, only Ziva lying on the floor, babbling some nonsenses about a real estate company and how somebody named Abir told her not to come but she did it anyway and so on and so on...there were even sentences that were in Hebrew and something he thought was Russian...languages were more 'Ziva's thing' than his anyway.

He started picking her up immediately, so he could carry her inside, but she resisted for a while at first. He could smell the alcohol on her and could only imagine how much she had had to drink because he knew she could easily take him and he wasn't exactly what you would call a bad drinker, either.

She quietly insisted on getting up by herself and somehow managed to do so. And he said, more to himself than to her: "How can you be so freaking stubborn?" And he didn't just mean about tonight, but he didn't care much about what she heard, because he was pretty sure she wasn't going to remember all of this tomorrow.

Suddenly she turned around to face him and kissed him strong. He quickly held her to support her and prevent her from falling and thought to himself _As much as I'd love doing this with you, my dear ninja I don't think this is the best idea…_ It really wouldn't be the smartest thing to kiss now, when probably only one of them would still remember it in the morning. Plus he knew she wasn't thinking clearly in this condition and he would never take advantage of her. Then she started to talk again, her voice now almost squeaky as Abby would say, but he practically didn't understand anything. Between the sobs and the tears he got a few words like _sorry_ and _shouldn't_ and then there was something with _love_ , which he would like to understand better but it was safe to say that alcohol didn't exactly do magic to her coherency with speaking.

He then completely freaked out about what to do. The first thing that crossed his mind was to call Gibbs, he was sure that boss would know what to do, but Tony quickly changed his mind since Gibbs probably didn't know, that Ziva was in town and there probably was a reason why. So he laid her softly on his couch and gently spoke to her: " Ziva? Ziva, I'm gonna have to change your clothes now, because you are all sweaty and smelly and…you know…Is that okay?" She didn't reply, she just nodded her head a little, now feeling a calmer. She was asleep almost immediately and didn't wake up even while he was taking of her clothes and put some his old ones on her. He then carefully carried her to the bedroom bridal-style, put her on the bed and covered her with a blanket.

He then brought a large bowl and put it on the floor near the bed if she would have to throw up any time and went to get a box of aspirins and a glass of water and put them on the night stand, in case if she woke up with a severe head ache, for which he was pretty sure she would.

He turned around towards her and watched her for a moment. Then he kissed her softly on the cheek and whispered in her ears "Goodnight, my ninja. Sleep tight..." and quietly left the room trying not to wake her up.

He went back in the living room to pick up Ziva's clothes which he had left lying on the carpet before and put them in the washing machine. He suddenly heard the nearby tower clock strike 4 times. It was 4 o'clock in the morning and it just occurred to him now that he would have to get up for work in less than two hours. He finally laid on the couch himself and thought that he has to go to Gibbs' house first thing in the morning to tell him that he wouldn't be able to come to work, since he couldn't just call him over the telephone because it was still lying broken on the kitchen floor. He really needed to talk to Ziva because there had to be a reason for her to visit twice in the last 9 hours since she didn't reach out to him for more than a year. He didn't know what he was gonna list as the reason for his absence, but right now be didn't even care. All that mattered was that the love of his life, his partner and his crazy Mossad assassin was sleeping peacefully in the next room and this was the first time he slept perfectly relaxed in a year and a half, knowing that she was safe...

* * *

Tony woke up to the sound of analogue alarm clock that just wouldn't stop ringing. He left a deep groan from his mouth and got up to turn off the clock quickly, that it wouldn't wake Ziva up. He just remembered that she was still in his bedroom, so he went to check up on her. She was still sleeping peacefully, snoring just a little with her mouth fully open, which made him smile a little for a moment, then he frowned at himself, thinking that it was kind of creepy watching her sleep since she probably didn't even know that she was in his apartment. So he left a note under the glass and quietly left the bedroom. He was going to Gibbs' house. He didn't know yet what to say to him but he was sure he would remember something on the way.

He sat in his car, that was parked outside the building and was just about to start driving when he noticed a royal blue women's jacket. "Oh, shit! Zoe!", he panicked, still not sure what to do. He made it clear to himself that he would think about it later. Right now he had to visit Gibbs and prevent his boss from killing him for not coming to work. _What a great way to start your day_ he thought sarcastically...

Twenty minutes later he slowly drove on his boss' drive way and exited the vehicle. Tony didn't even bother with knocking knowing that Gibbs would probably be in the basement building the hundredth boat this year. _Did the guy sleep at all?_ He started walking down the stairs and heard his boss sigh loudly and speak wearily before he could even see his Senior Field Agent: "What is it again, DiNozzo?"

"Um hi, boss, how did you know that was me?" DiNozzo waited a few moments for Gibbs to answer and quickly proceeded when he noticed the glare of silver haired man. "Right, not important..." A few more seconds have passed without a word until Gibbs got even more angry and barked:" Well spit it out!" Tony swallowed visibly and slowly said:" Boss I sort off need a day off but I can't tell you yet why. It's really important and I promise to stop by tomorrow and explain ..."

Soon DiNozzo started to get anxious to get his answer so he asked carefully: "Boss?" Gibbs sighed loudly one more time and almost yelled "See ya tomorrow. Now get the hell out of my basement!"

"Thank you boss, I owe you one..." said DiNozzo and almost ran to the front door..

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 **I don't know, what I'm doing wrong if you don't tell me, so any kind of constructive criticism in a form of reviews is very welcome...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all the favorites, alerts and especially reviews. They really make my day...**

 **Disclaimer: I still don't own NCIS...**

 **Chapter 4  
**

 _Tony swallowed visibly and slowly said:" Boss I need a day off but I can't tell you yet why. It's really important and I promise to stop by tomorrow and explain ..."_

 _Soon DiNozzo started to get anxious to get his answer so he asked carefully: "Boss?" Gibbs sighed loudly one more time and almost yelled "See ya tomorrow. Now get the hell out of my basement!"_

 _"Thank you boss, I owe you one..." said DiNozzo and almost ran to the front door..._

Ziva woke up with her head pounding and her mouth as dry as Sahara desert. She groaned loudly and rolled over so that she could lie on her back and slowly get up. The window shatter was down so she had no idea what time it was. She didn't know where her cell phone was and she suddenly became very aware that she didn't even know where she was. She remembered that she flew to DC yesterday so that she could meet Tony and remembered checking into a hotel but she was sure that this wasn't her hotel room.

Then she remembered a visit to Tony's apartment, going in a bar after that and those men hitting on her. "Oh my God..." she said quietly to herself now thinking that she went home with one of them. Simultaneously she noticed the glass of water the aspirins and a small paper piece with something written on it.

She first took two aspirins and thank god for the glass of water, then returning to the paper which said _I'll be back soon, we need to talk. You can shower if you want, the towels are on the top shelf of the bathroom closet. Your clothes are still in the dryer and they are washed._

She still had no memory of where she was. She slowly got out of the bed, when she noticed, that she was wearing somebody else's clothes. An Ohio State shirt that was twice her size, or men's sweatpants sure weren't hers. She started thinking about how weird that was. Was she just dreaming? She was grateful of course that somebody took care of her but still, it was weird.

She carefully left the bedroom, entering a nicely decorated living room, which seemed strangely familiar to her. And in that moment she finally realized where she was and it hit her hard. "Oh, shit!" she muttered to herself placing her hand over her eyes in desperation. "What have I done?" She suddenly remembered the bar closing and trying to call Tony. She didn't know how she got here but she vaguely remembered lying on the floor outside her former partner's apartment. That of course explained the Ohio State shirt, the aspirins and a notice that they have to talk. All she could do now was to pray that she didn't expose to him that she still loved him and that this was the reason for her visit in the first place. Or do anything equally stupid. And in that moment she wasn't sure if it had been better for her to go to Tony's or just hook up with someone random from the bar.

She then decided that since she was in Tony's apartment, she could shower. She was just about to enter the bathroom when there has been a knock on the door, which made her completely freak out, because she was not even close to be able to confront him. She didn't even know what she did last night, so how was she supposed to know what to say to him.

But it was his apartment after all and she thought that he probably locked himself out by accident. So she slowly went to open the door. There sure were a few surprises at that door in the last 24 hours or so, because it wasn't Tony at the front door but no one else than McGee himself.

Poor McGee got a call from Gibbs before who had informed the Junior Field agent that Tony will not come at work today. So he just figured that Tony wasn't feeling well since he was acting so strange yesterday, and brought the sick agent some chicken soup. The emphasis on the past tense as McGee dropped the soup from shock. Well it was safe to say that the soup didn't exactly make the hallway floor better looking. So he started speaking with very squeaky voice:" Ziva? What the hell! Aren't you supposed to be in Israel? Wait, why are you in DiNozzo's apartment, wearing his clothes? Oh my god, are you two together? You two are totally doing it! Right? Just wait a second, I've gotta call Abby and tell her right away!"

Meanwhile Ziva quietly listened to his sudden outburst, thinking what she's going to say in her defense. Or how to stop him in a matter of fact. But the truth was that she was just as surprised to see him as he was in seeing her. When she had heard a knock on the door she wasn't exactly expecting anybody but Tony, since he wrote that he'd be back soon. So she said tiredly: "Calm down McGee... You have been spending too much time with Abby, you sound just like her.

McGee blushed instantly and quickly changed the subject. "So how long have you been here?" asked McGee now with a much calmer voice. Ziva was very glad that he didn't ask for the reason for her comeback, because she wouldn't know what to say to him. So she answered the question: "Oh, I just flew to DC yesterday..."

McGee really wanted to ask her why she came back but saw how uncomfortable and awkward she felt so he just asked a more general question: "So are you here on vacation or business..." She didn't exactly know what to say to that, because well it definitely wasn't business but the personal part kind of sucked up to now. So she just answered casually:" Well you could say it is more a vacation-like trip" and suddenly saw an opportunity to change the dangerous subject:" I now work as a real estate agent which doesn't exactly require international traveling..."

"Oh that's nice," he answered, not really knowing what to say. She and he have never been as close as Tony and Ziva but she was still like a sister to him and he was hurt, too, when she left. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted with her question: "So what's new with you? You still with Delilah?" McGee didn't really know what to answer her since she didn't know that his girlfriend was paralyzed after the bombing and now lived half way around the world from him. He knew what this meant for their relationship from the start and sure didn't want to be the guy that sabotaged his girlfriend's career but it still wasn't easy. At all. So he just decided not to tell her everything at once:" Yes we are still together but she is actually working in Dubai now... It's not exactly ideal but if she's happy, so am I".

Ziva didn't say anything, just nodded her head knowingly. If anyone knew how it felt when the person you love is thousands of miles away, it was her.

The atmosphere around the two of them suddenly became very tense, since nobody exactly knew what to say. The awkward silence between them was interrupted by someone's footsteps. Ziva didn't see anyone right away because she was still standing inside the apartment but McGee's happy:" Oh, hi Tony! I just came to see if you were all right and Ziva opened the door," revealed the steps' owner.

"Hi" she said quietly, in her mind praying that the floor would open and just took her in. Tony just nodded back as a 'hello' and turned to McGee, who suddenly became very aware that they needed to clear some things. So he quickly rattled off: "I better get going then. Now that you won't be at work," turning towards Tony: "everything will be my fault since Gibbs doesn't torture Bishop and the back of my head has been pretty sensitive lately".

"Well goodbye then. It was nice to see you Ziva" he added and began walking towards the stairs.

She just answered "You too McGee" and DiNozzo didn't say anything. They were finally alone and could talk...

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A/N: Reviews are (still) very welcome...


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all the reviews. I am really happy to see that you like the story... And no, I still don't own NCIS :(**

 **Chapter 5**

 _"Well goodbye then. It was nice to see you Ziva," added McGee and began walking towards the stairs._

 _She just answered "You too, McGee" and DiNozzo didn't say anything. They were finally alone and could talk..._

Tony stepped into the apartment and slowly closed the door. He still didn't say anything, so Ziva started: "Yes, I agree that we do need to talk."

She stopped for a moment, to see if he was listening to her. Seeing his beautiful blue eyes staring at hers made her knees go all soft, but she continued: "First I'd like to…"

Suddenly she was interrupted by Tony's voice: "Let's sit down first". She nodded and followed him to the kitchen, where they both sat down at the table.

"First," started Ziva: "I would like to apologize for surprising you and your girlfriend." She stopped for a moment for his confirmation, that 'girlfriend' was in fact the woman's status. He sensed her brown eyes staring at him with hope, but decided not to answer anything. He just remembered now that he still didn't reach out for Zoe since he left her in his apartment speechless. He didn't even know if perhaps Zoe had already broke it off with him. And he just realized that he didn't even care anymore. Apparently he was still in love with Ziva (but she didn't need to know this right away…). And he was not going to be the guy who just stops calling anymore, so he decided to talk to Zoe as soon as possible.

Since Tony didn't answer, Ziva proceeded with her 'speech', now concluding that her assumptions, that Tony had in fact moved on, were true, which made her really disappointed. She knew that she couldn't ask him (or expect him) to wait for her forever, but she could still hope, right? She has always been very down-to-earth and somewhere deep inside she has always known that coming back to him was a long shot, or possibly even a mistake if she'd get her heart broken one more time. Just that when it came to big decisions involving love or other feelings and especially when it included Tony, the lines always became a little blurry.

And planning a major anti terrorist operation that would put her life and lives of many other people in danger? No problem. Confessing the love of her life her feelings towards him? That scared her to death.

"I am sorry. I shouldn't have come at your doorstep and expect..." she trailed off. "No you shouldn't," he said with angry voice. "Look, a year and a half without even a phone call and then you expect everything to be the same as it was? I understood that you wanted to leave NCIS and Mossad and all this shit. And I completely understand that you had to cut all ties with American life and return to Israel until you don't figure your things out. What I don't understand is why you had to cut me out of your life completely.

She didn't have anything to say in her defense. He was right. And she hated it when he was right. So she decided just to tell him the truth. "Yes, because I…" she stuttered with embarrassment, not knowing how to tell him: "I…I was in love with you. And I was… scared and completely freaked out," she said, carefully observing his face expression. She quietly added: "I didn't know what to do with it because I didn't know how you would have reacted if I had told you. Plus, Gibbs with his rule number twelve didn't help, either."

He didn't look like he was very surprised at her confession, so he just nodded without saying anything.

A minute has passed without each of them saying anything, just carefully observing each other, completely lost in their own thoughts. Ziva broke the silence first: "You told Gibbs you are not coming to work today?" She already knew the answer to her question, but wanted to make sure.

"Yeah."

"Did you tell him I was here?" she asked in panic.

"No." He was sure that telling Gibbs at the moment was not a good idea. Tony had been wondering since that night in Israel how much did his boss actually know about them and for why Tony went in Israel in the first place. He knew that Abby knew and McGee even wrote in his book that 'officer Lisa', whose character was based on Ziva's, was in love with 'Tommy', whose character was based on Tony's. Which proved that it was kind of obvious, since McGee usually didn't notice a lot of things.

Tony was really interested in knowing for a while now, why there never was a lecture in breaking rule number 12 when he returned from Israel. It was true that they weren't coworkers anymore, but on the other hand, Tony never felt that Gibbs knew something about what happened between two of his agents that night in Paris. And he was sure he knew. The guy's gut told him everything about everybody, hell he was even one of the first people to find out about the relationship between E.J. and Tony. He just didn't know, why Gibbs never said anything.

"I figured that you would want to tell him yourself" he said and added "I just hope McGee is smart enough not to tell anybody"

"Well I am sure that that he won't be able to hold it long from Abby, so I better get going to tell her myself." she grabbed the opportunity and started getting up. "Wait, wait!" he said quickly. Ziva didn't say anything, she just stopped and stared at him.

"You still didn't tell me why you came here"

"That I haven't figured out yet", she said not really knowing what to say. It was too late for her, for them. He had a girlfriend now, he moved on from her. She didn't have to mess with his life with any 'I still love you' sort of confessions. "Look, I have to go. I plan to visit everybody before my plane leaves tomorrow afternoon."

This time he didn't try to stop her, he just looked at her thinking about all the things he had to say, he should say, but not even a word from his mouth. So she just assumed that this was it and quietly added "Thank you...f… for yesterday" she stammered, meaning the 3.00 a.m. accident and slowly headed to the front door.

This time DiNozzo didn't say anything to that and just let her leave. She turned around at the door one more time to face him and while looking him sadly, she said "Goodbye. Tony". And one more time she was gone.

When she stepped outside the apartment, she first took a deep breath to calm herself down. She came DC to see him of course, but it looked like she was too late. And she wasn't the kind of people, who mess with other people's relationships. He was already taken. When she stayed in Israel, she had to take a chance that something like this could happen. And there was nothing she could do about it since she was the one who left in the first place. But not everything was bad. She had a closure now and she could move on from him. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but now she knew, that she tried and she was sure that it was better to try and fail that to ask herself for the rest of her life 'What if'.

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 **Reviews are welcome (as always), even if it's criticism...**


	6. Chapter 6

**So...I know I write this like every chapter but thank you again to all of the people who put my story into their favorites and alerts and especially to you, who had reviewed the story.**

 **Thanks to the guest who pointed out that DiNozzo's eyes are actually green. I checked and they really are more green than they are blue, so sorry about that.**

 **And to all of the people who aren't satisfied with how 'slowly' their relationship is evolving back to where it was: there's no fun in getting them together in 24 hours after she arrived back to DC (I am very mean, I know :) ) plus I don't think that if Ziva would actually come back to the show they would be together right away, because they still have to sort a lot of things out.**

 **Another thing: I should probably warn you that in June I won't be able to update as often as I did the first chapters because I've got like 3 camps in the next three weeks (I have no idea how that happened). Tomorrow I'm leaving on a school trip for two days, in two weeks I'm going to the sea with my whole class (my class is great) for four days, and in the last week of June I'm going on a maths camp for 5 days.**

 **PS.: Sorry for the long author's note and shorter chapter. Please keep reviewing.**

 **Chapter 6  
**

 _When she stepped outside the apartment, she first took a deep breath to calm herself down. She came DC to see him of course, but it looked like she was too late. And she wasn't the kind of people, who mess with other people's relationships. He was already taken. When she stayed in Israel, she had to take a chance that something like this could happen. And there was nothing she could do about it since she was the one who left in the first place. But not everything was bad. She had a closure now and she could move on from him. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but now she knew that she tried and she was sure that it was better to try and fail that to ask herself for the rest of her life 'What if'._

What none of them knew was that they were thinking the exact same thing in the exact same moment.

She slowly left the building and searched for a cab. She wanted to go back to her hotel room and decide how to tell Gibbs she was here. It was something she had to do, she couldn't just fly here and leave without seeing her surrogate father. And she missed Abby so much. She was sure Abby prepared a reproachful speech about her leaving, especially leaving without saying 'goodbye' since McGee probably told her, but Ziva made a mental note to herself to wear two sweaters on her way to Abby's to save her ribs from Abby's rib-crushing hugs she was probably going to get. Thinking about cloths made her remember that she actually still wore Tony's clothes. 'Oh, shit,' she thought to herself and decided to just send them by mail or give it to McGee or something. She didn't care if she left her clothes at his place.

She didn't feel sorry for staying in Israel, she really didn't. She knew it would be better if she had said actual goodbyes to all the people she loved, not just to Gibbs and Tony. She had to do this, and she felt like she was a better person now. She had an almost normal life. And she thought that leaving Tony her necklace, for which she told him a few years earlier that she would sooner die than take this necklace off', meant that this was just temporary, that it isn't final. And she really thought that Tony understood that. But clearly he didn't and there was nothing else she could do. Okay, maybe it wasn't the best idea she ever had not to call him or e-mail him or something, but she couldn't do it. She knew he would have continued trying to persuade her into coming back, and she saw how heartbroken he seemed so she would eventually give in and continue her previous life style.

And she wouldn't be able to be the kind of partner in personal life she would have wanted to be for him. She had to cleanse herself from the past first. She tried and this was it. Now she could move on with her life and return to Israel. She was starting to think about staying in DC for a while, or even living here since she had nobody in her native state, but she quickly decided that it was too soon for her being so close to Tony every day and after yesterday she realized that her judgment is way to cloudy for now. But maybe in a few years from now...

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the cab driver, who told her that they reached her final destination. She paid him for the drive and slowly exited the taxi. She had to change clothes first and then she could go for a walk or something. She wanted to visit Gibbs and Abby right away, but she knew that they were still at the Navy yard, working, since it was a Friday morning. She just hoped that they wouldn't catch any new cases. She worked for Gibbs for eight years and knew very well that the boss doesn't go home (or let anybody go home) on a Friday evening if there's a dead marine.

* * *

Tony was still sitting at the table, not knowing what to. His heart wanted to go after Ziva so badly, but his mind kept saying 'No, idiot! You'll just end up hurt. Again.' He was never the 'risky' kind of man. Sure, he was acting all brave and happy on the outside, but in the inside he was very insecure, because all the people that had left him in the past. It was much easier to do one-night stands than actually commit to somebody, because in that case it could be him that got hurt.

After Ziva left he tried to change and even managed to do so. He signed up in a man self-help group, which actually helped him realize that his numerous relationships don't benefit him. Or anybody else in a matter of fact. That's why he decided to try with Zoe in the first place. He wasn't ready but if there was a possibility not to end as lonely as Gibbs was he would take it. Plus his boss was getting tired of Tony's evening visits to drink bourbon.

He thought about going to the Navy Yard for some time, but decided against it. It was 8.30 in the morning and he was at Gibbs' just hours ago, so it would look weird if he'd come to work now, after he had already said that he wouldn't. He was way too depressed to work anyway.

It just occurred to him now that he still didn't have any contact with Zoe since yesterday. He knew that her work starts at 3 p.m. since she is working the afternoon shift today, so he decided to go see her so he could explain her the situation. It really wasn't fair to her to keep leading her on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the short chapter but I felt really bad for not updating so long it's just that I reeeeally don't have time because all the exams. Tomorrow is the last one which is pretty great...**

 **I don't own NCIS.**

 **Chapter 7**

 _It just occurred to him now that he still didn't have any contact with Zoe since yesterday. He knew that her work starts at 3 p.m. since she is working the afternoon shift today, so he decided to go see her so he could explain her the situation. It really wasn't fair to her to keep leading her on._

So he just got up and decided that is was best not to delay the conversation. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to say to her to minimize the pain but he had about twenty-minute drive to her place. He was able to come up with something in that amount of time, right?

But sometime later he found himself shifting his weight nervously from one foot to another while standing at her building's lobby, still not knowing how to explain.

He knocked three times quietly. There seemed to be no movements form inside the apartment and he was just about to leave when Zoe opened the door. And she did not look happy to see him, at all.

"What do you want now?" she said angrily, but didn't let him answer her question. "Somebody comes at your apartment and you stare at each other quietly and then she leaves and you run out of the apartment, not saying anything." She waited for a moment, then continued: "I would have forgiven you for that. I waited for your call yesterday. I gave you the space you seemed to need but nooo, you don't even call the next morning! I expected you'd call me on your way to work, which reminds me: Why aren't you at NCIS? You can't just come to my doorstep at 9 a.m."

He tried to say something in his defense but was interrupted by her again. "Look you didn't have to come anyway because we are done."

He simply nodded and said: "I am very sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you." He was about to leave when she started yelling again "That's it? I would at least expect you to ask me to be together again!"

"Didn't you say it was over between us?" She answered, now crying a little: "Well I thought you'd appreciate me more if you would have to try to get me back"

"Zoe I'm very sorry okay? The truth is that I didn't see her" he said assuming that Zoe knew who he was talking about "for almost two years and I never thought I'd see her again. That's why I reacted the way I did." he stopped talking, now to think about what to say next but his thoughts were once again interrupted by her now quiet, shaky voice: "You love her?".

"Is that a question or a statement" he asked instead of answering. Zoe just looked him sadly in the eyes and he answered:" I..." he trailed of... "Yes, I think I do".

"Well I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together" she said sarcastically as she started closing the doors while he said more to himself than to her: "Well yeah, looks like 'together' is never going to happen for us…"

"What?" she looked at him surprised, not knowing what he meant. "I understood you already are together now…"

"Yeah you'd think so after ten years" he answered sarcastically. She still had no idea what he was talking about but he just said: "She's returning to Israel tomorrow"

Zoe didn't know what to say to that so she just nodded. Tony said "I'm sorry" again and left.

 _Oh, great,_ he thought. Now she reminded him of Ziva again. Just when he cleared her out of his head for half an hour. What now? How could one freaking Mossad officer turn his life around in just one day? Actually just one simple Thursday evening. Until now he could at least pretend that he was over her. But how could she possibly think that after her two year absence everything would be the same and she could just show up at his door and expect… What did she want? He still didn't know and apparently she was able to make him forget that he asked her that question, which now remained unexplained. She did say that even she didn't know why she actually came but come on, nobody was stupid enough to buy that.

She told him that she was in love with him but he didn't quite understand if it was past or if it still lasted. He would have lied if he would say that his heart didn't skip a beat when she confessed her feelings towards him but now there was a new insercurity that bugged him: Was she still in love with him or did she move on? For all he knew she could be married and could even had a child by now. Or maybe she came back to be with him, he really didn't know. And the fact that none of them exactly shared their feelings with other people didn't help much.

It was all so messed up. The rational side of him kept saying _STOP you idiot. You have to move on, you'll just end up even more heartbroken._ Just that the 'heart side' was equally loud in saying just the opposite.

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 **Reviews are welcome...  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 _Friday evening_

 _After a whole day of basically doing nothing Ziva decided to finally go and see Gibbs and_ possibly the rest of the team. She knew that Abby wouldn't be home in Gibbs was still working. She asked herself the same question for the millionth time: Did Abby sleep at all? Ziva was often worried about her when she was still working at NCIS and now was no different. It couldn't be very healthy to drink that much caffeine in the form of famous Caf-POWS and not sleep at all. gibbs was not exactly a case of who you would call an 'easy boss', because NCIS was never an easy job.

She took a cab to her former boss' house. She didn't bother knocking on the door once she arrived there because she was sure that Gibbs would be in his basement, building what would probably be the 1000th boat. A small grin spread through her face remembering how many times she and Tony had tried to figure out how their boss got the boat out of the small basement, but the smile quickly faded away when she thought of how their relationship had changed in the last two years.

'Now is not the time,' she thought to herself and slowly entered the house. The ground floor looked like there was nobody home but she knew better than that. She quickly found her way to the basement stairs and saw weak light from downstairs. She just realized now that she had absolutely no idea what to say to Gibbs and started thinking about not going down. She walked around nervously for a few moments and then carefully started walking down the stairs.

As she expected Gibbs was working on something that looked like a boat frame. Of course he already knew that somebody was coming to see him as he heard the front door opening. He just didn't know why it took him or her so long to come down.

He slowly turned around to face whoever it was that decided to pay a visit to his house and blinked twice in surprise. He quickly took a large sip of his bourbon and said: "Hello Ziver..."

* * *

 _After a whole day of basically doing nothing Tony decided to finally go and see Gibbs,_ even if he said to his boss before that he would show up and explain himself tomorrow.

He just had to get out of the apartment. Everything reminded him of yesterday's and even today's encounter with her. He didn't even want to think of her name. And of her overall. The fact that she forgot her clothes in his bathroom this morning didn't exactly help him get her out of his mind, too.

Around half an hour later DiNozzo found himself standing on Gibbs' drive way. He was thinking about how his boss was probably going to be very angry. He flinched at a thought about how many slaps on the back of his head he was going to get because of it. Ouch!

He entered the house without bothering knocking and was just about to go down the stairs when he heard someone walking up the stairs. The steps were followed by a familiar voice that made his heart go crazy: "Bye, Gibbs."

"Oh, shit," he hissed and quickly stepped behind the door. The step sounds got closer and she was now passing his hiding spot, but didn't seem to notice Tony.

'This is ridiculous,' he thought to himself. He was wondering why he reacted that way. There would be nothing wrong if she had seen him at Gibbs'. But the truth was he felt guilty about this morning. He shouldn't have snap at her so hard. He didn't resent her leaving his apartment without any solid explanations. He was never able to be mad at her for longer time. And he didn't hold a grudge against her for staying in Israel that night that seemed so distant but was still remembered as it would have happened yesterday. It was just easier for him to pretend that he was mad at her than to suffer in pain, silently. Not that it had helped much.

He still couldn't believe what only a glimpse on her could do to his mind, his body. He only saw her for a second but he went all weak at the knees.

He decided to wait for a couple minutes before heading down the stairs to avoid the possibility of Ziva seeing him and it would probably look a little bit weird if he came down the minute that Ziva left. Gibbs probably needed to process some things as well as Tony did.

Thirty seconds of Tony leaning on the wall behind the door had passed when he heard a distant, weary voice: "You can come out now, DiNozzo!" Tony's heart skipped a beat from awkwardness and embarrassment in the same time, but soon he plucked up the courage to confront his boss.

He slowly walked down the stairs and stopped in the middle of them to ask Gibbs if it was okay for him to come down. Gibbs didn't answered, he just took another coffee cup from the shelf and poured Tony some bourbon.

Tony sat down and gratefully took the drink. They both sat in silence for what seemed to be pretty long, none of them saying anything, just drinking, both lost in individual thoughts.

"You coming to work tomorrow?" asked Gibbs. He felt sorry for his senior agent. He knew all along about how Ziva and Tony felt about each other. They were really bad at hiding it. Everyone could see it. What started as some innocent flirting now and then grew to flirting all the time. But over the years he could see how both of them had changed, how their relationship had changed. Useless eye-sex was replaced by really strong bond of friendship and trust, one he hadn't seen in years. It was the bond similar to the one he had with Shannon. He always expected them to show up at his basement one evening together, just to tell him that they were now a couple or possibly getting married or something like that. One thing he had never expected was that they could end up like they did: each of them living on their own continents, divided by seas, thousands of miles away from each other, without any contacts between them. He saw how heartbroken DiNozzo was without her and he could only imagine what the separation did to Ziva. Not that she would ever admit it, of course.

"Did we catch a new case?" asked DiNozzo. Gibbs just nodded as a confirmation and his agent added: "Then see ya tomorrow, boss." He slowly got up from what seemed to be a base of the boat that he sat on before and started walking towards the stairs. He turned to face his boss for the last time and said: "Thanks, boss. For everything." He really appreciated Gibbs not asking any questions about this morning. Tony knew that boss was now aware of Ziva being in town and that he probably connected the dots.

Gibbs barked in return: "Goodnight, DiNozzo!" But he wasn't angry at all. In fact he felt oddly proud of his agent and a little smirk flooded his face. "Those two are gonna be my death," he said to himself as he sighed loudly and took another sip of his bourbon.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay I know you probably thought that I abandoned this and I'm very sorry for not updating the story for so long, but I have been *very, very, very busy*. The school ended and I went to math camp and I'm doing exams for my driver's licence and we're also moving, for which I was only told about 14 days ago, because it was meant to be as a 'surprise' (I hate surprises). So you can probably see why I didn't post this. However I am planing to post a new chapter in a few days (no promises, because those holidays weren't exactly what I expected from holidays so far)...  
**

 **I know you probably feel like the story isn't moving anywhere with this chapter but I kind of felt like it was a crucial moment to proceed the story...**

 **Chapter 9**

 _Saturday afternoon_

Tony was back at work. He was only gone for like a day but from some unknown reason everything seemed different to him. Even the people were acting different. McGee was looking at him with a weird expression on his face and Gibbs didn't even yell at him. Weird. But DiNozzo didn't have much time to think since they all had hands full of work with the new case.

It was around two p.m. when Tony got out of the interrogation room, sighing from exhaustion. The guy kept saying that he was innocent, just that all the evidence pointed out to him. It was Gibbs' turn to break him and DiNozzo slowly made his way to his table while observing McGee completely engrossed in something he was doing on his computer.

Tony sat on his chair and suddenly realized the absence of his Mighty Mouse stapler. He said angrily to McGee: "Did you take my stapler?"

McGee didn't answer, he just shook his head, his eyes still glued to the computer screen.

Tony quickly went through all the drawers, from the bottom up. Just that opening the top drawer of his desk and seeing what was in it suddenly made him forget all about the missing stapler. Necklace. The necklace. Ziva's necklace.

It occurred to him now: this was a promise. A promise which she kept. And he had let her down and scared her away. He didn't react the way he did the first time he saw her after so long on purpose but it still wasn't exactly his 'finest hour'. He was just really surprised that she was there.

And he surely shouldn't have come off so hard on her yesterday morning. It was just that he had no idea about what to do with the fact that she came back while he was with somebody else even though he still clearly had feelings for Ziva.

But now was the first time in his life that some thought came to him so suddenly. For once in his life he knew that this wasn't the time to feel sorry for himself. Everything suddenly became clear to him. He didn't want to lose her. Again. He couldn't lose her again.

He sure didn't want to go through all the 'what ifs' again. _Oh, the hell with rules!_

»McGee, I need a big favor from you...« started DiNozzo, but was interrupted by McGee's impatient voice: »You ask me for favors all the time. What's the catch? «

»Ugh...« sighed DiNozzo. »Well, it might be a little bit – how do I put it- illegal? «

»How much illegal?" asked McGee, staring angrily at DiNozzo. Of course he would help him, no matter what, but Tony didn't need to know that right away. "Would you just tell me what it is already, ", said the junior field agent, tired of Tony's constant favor- asking.

»Okay, « said Tony and took a deep breath. »Ziva is returning to Israel in a few hours and I really, really need to talk to her. I don't know where she is staying so I need you to run credit card payment records to see which hotel she pay for. «

»Tony, that's totally a human rights violation. You know that we can't do that if we don't have a probable cause. «

»I know, McFairPlayer. I said it was illegal, didn't I? «, answered DiNozzo cynically. »You do hacking into Mossad, CIA and all the other intelligence agencies all the time. So what's the big deal? It's just some credit card information. «

»Okay, okay, okay, « quickly said McGee to prevent him from talking even more. This weren't exactly the things he was proud of doing plus somebody could hear it. "But don't give all your hopes on it. We don't actually know if she used her credit card."

»Oh, I just remembered, « grabbed McGee and opportunity. »...are you and Ziva now sleeping together or something? Or why was she in your apartment? «

»Would you just do it already, McMindYourOwnBusiness? «, said Tony, clearly annoyed by the questions about him and Ziva.

»Fine! But you better get me a Nutter-Butter the next time you pass a vending machine. «

»You got it, McGourmet! «

»And by the way, don't you ever get tired of those stupid nicknames, you're constantly making up for me? « asked McGee wearily. »Never mind, I've got it. It's the Loews Madison Hotel on the...Just a second...« told McGee. »The address is 1177, on the 15th Street. «

»I love you Probie, you're a miracle worker! «, yelled DiNozzo as he ran to the elevator.


End file.
